Uprising
by elizabethlockwood
Summary: An in depth look into Sirius Black and his life behind the series as well as his close bond with The Marauders.


They will not force us. They will stop degrading us. They will not control us. And we will be victorious. –Uprising, Muse.

XXX

Sirius grimaced in pain. Well, he'd been in tighter spots before. What was five Death Eaters to his superb talents? Nothing. Fear was not even a thought in his mind. He could make it out of this. No fucking problem. He stood up, limping on his bleeding leg, and made his way to safety behind the blown away staircase. Shots of red and green flew at him overhead. A familiar face grinned at him.

"All right there, Padfoot?" James asked.

"Never better," Sirius chuckled, covering the wound in his leg. There was no point in letting James see that he was hurt. "What's life without a few Death Eaters trying to kill you?"

"Boring," James shrugged nonchalantly.

Sirius glanced behind him. "Looks like Moony's got his work cut out for him," He jerked his head to James. Remus was battling against two bulkier Death Eaters. Sirius was not worried in the slightest. Moony was a superb dueler. But it wouldn't hurt to help his friend…"We might as well lend him a hand."

"Right," James nodded and with that the two of them sent spell after spell at the three Death Eaters battling Moony. Sirius had to give it to the guy–he was a talented.

James made his way over to the fray while Sirius struggled to get his bloody leg moving. It wasn't working so well. A sense of aggravation stole over him; covering the adrenaline rush he'd been experiencing from the fight.

A pretty red head came to his right, "Sirius is your leg bleeding?"

"Ah," he shrugged, playing it tough, "It's nothing Lily." He ducked, avoiding another stream of red.

She rolled her eyes, "Honestly, when are you going to learn how to heal yourself?" She muttered the incantation and the blood flow immediately cut off.

"Thanks," He grinned and without delay got up and back into the fight.

They lost five members of the Order that day. But to Sirius, this didn't really matter. Well, of course it _mattered_, but it didn't really affect him all that much. Those were people he hadn't been close with. He didn't really know them. His friends were okay. And that was all that mattered.

XXX

Sirius woke up, terrified, drenched in sweat. He was shaking as sobs mingled with screams escaped his throat. He'd never had a nightmare before. He wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't. The darkness of his room pressed in all around him. He cried for his mother, willing her to come to him, to reassure him that it would be all right.

Within a moment his door had opened and the light was turned on. Walburga Black stood in the doorway, eyes full of concern for her only son. Sirius stretched out his arms, "Mommy, it was going to eat me!" Walburga nodded gravely, trying to keep the smile out of her eyes. She had been worried there was something worse than a dream.

"It's alright, Sirius," She said, turning out the light. "I'm here." She climbed over the safety railing and lay beside him. Sirius snuggled into her chest, feeling safe at last. Nothing could get him as long as she was here with him. His heart began to slow and the shaking subsided.

A few minutes later the door opened again. A tall, looming figure looked in. "What's the matter with him?" Sirius winced at the harshness of the voice.

"Just a bad dream," His mother answered in a hushed voice.

"No son of mine will be some pansy that needs his mommy every two minutes," His father grunted. Sirius frowned but stayed silent. "Let him cry. It'll be good for him; toughen him up. He needs it."

His mother sighed, but obeyed and with a quick peck to Sirius' forehead she climbed out of his bed and followed her husband out the door.

Sirius lay there in the darkness, a little calmer than he had been before, but still disheartened. That was his oldest and best memory of his mother. For weeks afterwards every night Sirius had the same dream and awoke crying and screaming. Walburga never came back into the room to comfort him.

XXX

"Would you like to meet your big brother, Regulus?" Walburga cooed to the newborn in her arms. The baby stretched and yawned. Sirius peered with mild interest from the opposite side of the room. He was suspicious of the new arrival, but interested in what a brother would bring to the family. As long as he didn't have to share his toys with the baby he was fine with it.

"Can I hold him?" Sirius asked warily, still not coming too close.

Walburga hesitated for a moment but then nodded. "You have to sit on the couch first though." Sirius obliged and waited as patiently as he could. His mother lowered the baby slowly into his arms. He got a little overeager and tried to grab the baby. He succeeded in losing his grip and Regulus rolled off of his lap and onto the ground.

Wails pierced the air from both the babe and the toddler. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Sirius cried. His father stormed into the room and smacked him across the face. Hard. Sirius gasped in both pain and shock.

"What do you mean by it, boy?" His father roared, turned a bright red color. "Are you trying to kill him?" He picked Sirius up by the scruff of his collar and carried him to the stairs. "Fucking idiot! Go to your room and don't come back."

Sirius didn't need to be told twice. He sprinted the two landings up to his bedroom. He listened as the baby's crying subsided. He resented the creature. His parents had never been that angry with him before. It must be the baby's fault. He hated his new little brother. His father had never hit him across the face before. If the baby hadn't been so heavy Sirius wouldn't have dropped him. It was all Regulus' fault. And his mother had done anything to help him. It was her fault too.

Sirius cried for a while and punched a wall, only succeeding in hurting his hand. He ripped the picture he'd made earlier to shreds. The fragments of a happy family with a little bundle in their midst lay in pieces around his room.

XXX

"Dad, dad, stop it!" Sirius cried from his hiding spot. He was huddled under a table in the tapestry room. Unfortunately his cry had alerted the drunk of his hiding spot. Sirius was terrified whenever his father was like this. And there was nothing he could do to alter the situation.

"Orion, leave him alone!" His mother shouted, quite near to his hiding spot. Sirius heard a loud smack and a cry of pain as his mother fled the room.

He could hear the drunken laughter as he watched the shadow of his father bend down slowly. Inch by inch Orion raised the cloth to discover Sirius crouched into the fetal position, eyes wide and breath catching. Sirius winced as his father grabbed his ankle and dragged him out from under the table.

Sirius closed his eyes, waiting. After a moment he couldn't stand it any longer, he peeked and saw the tall, looming man grinning. Satisfied with his deranged game of hide and seek, Sirius was dealt one hard kick to the stomach. "Toughen up, son." His father demanded, still chuckling to himself.

Sirius glared through the pain as he watched his father's back out the door. He should probably count himself lucky. There had been far worse nights before.

XXX

"Mommy?" Sirius asked, cautiously peering into the bathroom. He screwed up his face as a very strong and horrible smell met him.

"Get out!" She screeched at him, blood covering her hands as she slammed the door in his face.

Sirius stood there, horrified at what he had just seen. He hadn't been trying to be nosy, he'd simply been walking to his room when he'd passed the open door. His mother had been sobbing hysterically over a strange gray lump. It looked almost like a rat of some sort.

"Why is Mommy so sad?" Regulus asked, poking his head out of his own bedroom door.

"Dunno," Sirius shrugged, looking over his shoulder quizzically at the door. "But she yelled at me really loudly. I don't think we should go in there for a while."

At that moment the front door slammed. Sirius looked to his brother with wide eyes and hurried through the door. They closed it quietly, but left it open a crack to hear better what had happened.

"Orion!" Their mother wailed. They could hear their father's footsteps pounding up the stairs. A moment later this was a loud intake of breath. Sirius opened the door a little wider. He could see his father standing in the doorway of the bathroom. Their mother's crying had reached the high pitch of hysteria.

"Fuck, Walburga!" Orion yelled. "Get rid of it. Clean this up." Shaking his head, he turned away and stormed off to his own bedroom.

Sirius wanted to go comfort his mother, but he was too afraid. He did not want to see that strange gray lump again. It filled him with fear. Besides, his mother told him to go away. She didn't want him. Not right now.

XXX

Sirius and Regulus were forced to visit the man every day at St. Mungo's. Their mother had been going twice daily for months. At the age of five it was still difficult for Sirius to really grasp the gravity of the situation. His father had been deteriorating for a long time. Years probably. But the man had too much pride to admit that there was anything wrong–until he could no longer walk or throw a punch at his son. And by then it was too late.

Sirius pressed his ear to the door. He could sense that something important was being discussed. He had abnormally good hearing for a little boy and was able to catch the majority of the conversation.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Black. There isn't anything else we can do."

"What do you mean? You can't have tried everything! We're willing to do anything. We're extremely wealthy. We can pay for anything. You have to do something for him!"

"It's time to take him home with you and make him as comfortable as possible."

"What's your ancestry?"

"What? I'm sorry?"

"We come from the noble and most ancient house of Black. We've inherited magic beyond your wildest dreams. My husband will not die under the care of some filthy Mudblood."

"Miss that is hardly the point–"

"So it's true." Sirius could hear the sneer in his mother's voice. "Well I'm going to the front desk and requesting a Healer that actually possesses adequate amounts of magic to help my husband.

"I'm sorry. I know this is a difficult time for you. But I've consulted at least ten other Healers and there is nothing anyone–"

"It's not enough!" Sirius winced. His mother sounded deranged. He could only imagine her eyes popping and her long hair flying widely about. Sirius heard a bang and a shriek. A moment later the Healer came flying out of the door, knocking Sirius to the ground.

"I'm sorry son," the Healer said to him, tears in her eyes. She offered him a hand up at which Sirius shook his head roughly, eyes wide. He wasn't to touch Mudbloods or Muggles. His parents had told him they carried diseases. This Healer was probably the reason his father was so sick. The Healer shook her head and sprinted quickly in the opposite direction.

XXX

Sirius wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to be feeling as he watched the casket being lowered into the ground. He knew that grief and sorrow were up there on the top emotions at a funeral. But he just felt empty and cold. Like stone. His family was there and his father's sister was crying quietly into a handkerchief. His uncle patted her on the back, a rare show of affection on his part.

His cousins were staring blankly, not crying exactly, but looked close to it. Sirius couldn't understand why exactly they cared so much. He wasn't their father. Little Regulus had donned a similar expression to that of Sirius. He didn't want to make eye contact with his little brother for fear of what he might see there.

Sirius was pretty sure that a feeling of relief was not supposed to accompany the death of one's father. But it was true. And he knew Reg felt it as well, though neither would ever admit it out loud. Orion was their father. They were supposed to love him, to mourn his death. But Sirius was just relieved. He could breathe a little easier at night. He wouldn't have to hide all the bruises.

Sirius had to admit it to himself; it was nice to get out of the house. The sun was shining, the trees swaying in a light breeze. Death was not in the air. Sirius took a deep breath, relishing in the fresh, clean air. He felt free, whole. They hadn't been allowed outside for a very long time. He and Reg weren't allowed to go out without their mother's supervision. And she hadn't had the time to watch them play while her husband had been slowly dying.

His mother looked on in silence, her jaw clenched. She was not about to cry, not today. Not in front of people, not in front of her boys. His parents had been married for seventeen years and the woman couldn't shed a tear. Not that Orion would have cried for his dead wife either.

His father had controlled his mother absolutely. And she had taken it all. There were plenty of fights. Many nights filled with screaming and crying. But Sirius even at the age of six could tell that his mother had loved his father. Why else would she have put up with all of that? Certainly not for the benefit of her sons. She had hardly moved from his bedside for the past few weeks, at the end. She seemed like an empty statue. Sirius could see absolutely nothing in her eyes. His father's sickness had turned his mother into someone else. She was cold, hard. Mean.

Sirius knew that he was definitely not supposed to feel happy that his father had died. He was not supposed to look with hate as the old man was lowered into the grave. He was not supposed to be excited about the fact that he would never have to look into the face of the oppressor he had detested so much. And who had detested Sirius in return.

His father had never looked with kindness on his eldest child. For years now Sirius had only seen lines of hate and rage etched in his father's expressions when looking on his son. Disappointment lingered every time Sirius entered the room. Fury broke out when Sirius disobeyed. It had gotten to the point where Sirius hardly even spoke to the man unless forced to. Normal sons would have would have cried if any of their parents had died. They would have been distraught. They would have cared.

XXX

"Come on Reg!" Sirius shouted to his little brother as they made their way up the hill. His mother strongly disapproved of this particular game, but Sirius thought it was fantastic.

"Wait up Sirius!" Regulus shouted back. "Your legs are longer than mine!"

"Ah, come on then," Sirius grinned, watching as the nine year old huffed his way up after him. "I'm gonna leave without you." Though of course he never would. But Reg need not know that.

"No don't!" Reg whined. "I'm coming!" Within a few minutes they were atop the hill together, watching the blood red sunset fade away. It was peaceful. Quiet. The pair of them didn't get many moments like this at their home. It felt strange, unreal. Like it was a moment stolen from a storybook.

"I'm going to miss this," Sirius sighed, looking away from his brother, concealing his emotions. Reg was not permitted to see Sirius show sentimentality of any kind.

Sirius would not hear of it. He was the big brother. He was supposed to be strong and look out for Reg. And he couldn't do that by showing weaknesses such as love or passion. "I'm going to Hogwarts tomorrow," he said quietly.

Reg looked at his older brother, trying to catch his eye. "Mum is going to be terrible when you're gone Sirius."

Sirius couldn't look at him. He nodded, "You're only saying that because she'll be yelling at you for a change." Reg always got away with everything, mostly because their mother already yelling at Sirius for something or another. Plus, Regulus wasn't as creative as Sirius when it came to misbehaving. His pranks were never as fun or as huge.

But it killed Sirius that he wouldn't be able to look out for the kid. They wouldn't be able to laugh and have fun like this again for months. And Reg would be left to the mercy of their family while Sirius went to face the unknown at Hogwarts. Anything had to be better than living in the "noble and most ancient house of Black".

Reg nodded in agreement, "Yeah, but still." He thought for a moment. "Maybe I can go to Hogwarts early with you…" Sirius said nothing and they continued to gaze out at the horizon. The hill they were sitting on overlooked a deep valley with a small stream at the bottom. They didn't have to say it. They both knew it was impossible.

But the depressing fact did not need to be mentioned. That's what their family did. They pushed anything unpleasant under the carpet and pretended it didn't exist.

Except for Sirius. He was something the family just pushed around. But escape was coming, and sooner than he could ever have hoped.

He knew it was impossible for Reg to go two years early. He would have to learn to live without his brother constantly by his side. Perhaps at Hogwarts Sirius would find new friends, new brothers to pal around with. He would never want to replace Reg of course. But there had to be other companions to whom he could rely upon. His world had to grow at some point. So far he'd really only experienced the world his family had forced upon him. And he'd accepted it unthinkingly, up to a point.

Sirius needed to get away. He could tell he was different. He didn't know how or why yet. It made him uncomfortable, like he didn't really belong or fit in with his own family. How was he supposed to function in an environment like that?

He shook his head slightly, clearing it. "Let's go," Sirius said, mounting the broom. He helped Reg on behind him and after making sure his brother had a firm safe grip he jumped off the side of the hill. They dove together in a steep descent; pulling out of it only inches from the ground. Sirius grinned, turning to look at Reg. "Do you wanna go home yet?" Sirius wished they never had to go home. He wanted to just stay here in this happy moment with his little brother for all eternity.

"No way!" His brother laughed, grinning identically to Sirius. "Let's do it again!"

XXX

"Mum, we're home!" Reg called out, sprinting through the door ahead of Sirius. Both boys were dripping wet and were treading mud onto the front hall carpet. Walburga Black stomped out of the side room, scowling furiously.

"Where have you two been?" She demanded, eyeing their clothes and the broomstick that Sirius was attempting to nonchalantly cover behind his back.

Sirius, as the oldest, was the one expected to answer her. He widely invented something she knew she would like, "We were scaring Muggles and throwing mud at them." He was a little disgusted with himself for this kind of a lie. But only a little. If it got them out of trouble it was worth it.

"Liar," She spat at him. She looked to Reg. "What were you two doing?"

"We were diving off the hill," He squealed. Sirius glared at him, though not entirely surprised that he had cracked that easily. "We fell into a pond and got all dirty." Reg could be a real git sometimes.

"You were _diving _off a hill?" She repeated incredulously. "My two sons, acting like worthless barbarians in broad daylight?" She looked to Sirius, always the source of the blame. "How could you do this? How could you embarrass the family like this? What if the Malfoys had seen you? What would they think of us?"

Sirius, well trained in this type of confrontation, knew it was better not to fight back. If he was docile and submissive, it usually worked out better for him–though it went entirely against his nature to do so. He looked at the floor, mumbling lame excuses.

All he'd wanted to do was have a little last minute fun with his little brother, but that was not tolerated in the house of Black. And he knew that, and resented it. So he kept trying to get around it.

"It was just a game…" He told her quietly, avoiding her eyes.

"Don't talk back to me!" And what she meant by that in Sirius' mind was 'don't defend yourself at all'. She grabbed his face. "Look at me when I talk to you." He did, and saw only fury in her eyes. "Get upstairs, both of you. And no dinner."

Sirius angrily trudged up the stairs. What had he expected? Some kind of going-away feast? It was a nice whim to ponder. But he knew it was never going to be a reality. He skulked in his room as the outside world grew darker and darker. He distinctly heard Regulus crying in the next room over. He listened as his mother brought food into his room and the child ate greedily.

He waited, daring to hope. But she did not come into his room. He did not get to have dinner, just as she had promised. He sat there, hungry and alone, pondering the future Hogwarts might allow for him. Anywhere had to be better than here.

All he'd done was track some mud into the foyer.

XXX


End file.
